* This actually is a review of Daiya American Slices, but it probably doesn’t seem like much more than a rambling personal story disguised as a review.
It’s not always easy eating plant-based, there are few (but increasing) options to eat out, restaurants sometimes sneak some dairy into items that don’t need it, and the entirety of our western motherfucking society is brainwashed by the Eggs/Beef/Bacon/Dairy lobbies, propping up the Meat Trolls that reside out there in the ether like forgotten land mines in an old battle field. Or something like that.
I grew up in the era of processed cheese worship. Cheep Wiz, EZ Cheese, Government Cheese, and Velveet were a huge hit, but Krapt Slices ruled the day. We didn’t have fancy cheeseries or delis in my hometown to steer my tastes toward something more cultured. I mean, in travels I had the opportunity to try some really fucking good cheeses, but when you’re a kid you generally (at that time in history) give a fuck about the marble in your Gorgonzola. My favorite sandwich was Whole Wheat bread slices, margarine, and a slice of good old individually-wrapped-yellow-cheese-product, wrapper removed of course. It’s a wonder I ever became a cook worth two shits. Chef Cheese Sandwich.
During my Vegan Journey I’ve been great at keeping away from cheese, and in all honestly during the last 15 years commercially produced “fake cheese” hasn’t been worth a fuck. Why waste the time and money on a product that tastes like sweet rubber? Man this is getting fucking long.
Recently a few companies have stepped the fuck up and started making some cheese substitute products that have been worthwhile, and my current favorite:
Daiya American Slices
Daiya just fucking nailed that taste from my childhood, but in a cruelty free way. It melts like a goddamn champ, it has that familiar “yellow cheese food” taste, but somehow better, smoother, like it’s the Billy D of Vegan Cheese. So smooth. I’ve used it in quesadillas, on top of veg burgers, sandwiches, I threw a piece at my shithead cat one, and a few times drunkenly stood in front of an open refrigerator, munching on half slice after half slice of this wonderful food. That’s the true test, when you are willing to look like a refrigeration wasting asshole to binge eat slices of fake cheese.
Daiya, thank you. Your work towards a more palatable cheese replacement is appreciated. Daiya also produces Cheddar Slices, Swiss Slices, some block cheese, shreds, and a really bad ass Cheese Sauce. I’m stoked and plan to pick up some Swiss Slices today.
Remember: dairy is scary, don’t eat like an asshole.