Personal · Product Review

Daiya American Slices: They Nailed It

*  This actually is a review of Daiya American Slices, but it probably doesn’t seem like much more than a rambling personal story disguised as a review. 

It’s not always easy eating plant-based, there are few (but increasing) options to eat out, restaurants sometimes sneak some dairy into items that don’t need it, and the entirety of our western motherfucking society is brainwashed by the Eggs/Beef/Bacon/Dairy lobbies, propping up the Meat Trolls that reside out there in the ether like forgotten land mines in an old battle field. Or something like that.

980511f7c2575efd9144a4e61be66234208aea25_fullI grew up in the era of processed cheese worship. Cheep Wiz, EZ Cheese, Government Cheese, and Velveet were a huge hit, but Krapt Slices ruled the day. We didn’t have fancy cheeseries or delis in my hometown to steer my tastes toward something more cultured. I mean, in travels I had the opportunity to try some really fucking good cheeses, but when you’re a kid you generally (at that time in history) give a fuck about the marble in your Gorgonzola. My favorite sandwich was Whole Wheat bread slices, margarine, and a slice of good old individually-wrapped-yellow-cheese-product, wrapper removed of course. It’s a wonder I ever became a cook worth two shits. Chef Cheese Sandwich.

During my Vegan Journey I’ve been great at keeping away from cheese, and in all honestly during the last 15 years commercially produced “fake cheese” hasn’t been worth a fuck. Why waste the time and money on a product that tastes like sweet rubber? Man this is getting fucking long.


Recently a few companies have stepped the fuck up and started making some cheese substitute products that have been worthwhile, and my current favorite:


Daiya American Slices



Actual pic of the goods at my home

Daiya just fucking nailed that taste from my childhood, but in a cruelty free way. It melts like a goddamn champ, it has that familiar “yellow cheese food” taste, but somehow better, smoother, like it’s the Billy D of Vegan Cheese. So smooth. I’ve used it in quesadillas, on top of veg burgers, sandwiches, I threw a piece at my shithead cat one, and a few times drunkenly stood in front of an open refrigerator, munching on half slice after half slice of this wonderful food. That’s the true test, when you are willing to look like a refrigeration wasting asshole to binge eat slices of fake cheese.



Daiya, thank you. Your work towards a more palatable cheese replacement is appreciated.  Daiya also produces Cheddar Slices, Swiss Slices, some block cheese, shreds, and a really bad ass Cheese Sauce. I’m stoked and plan to pick up some Swiss Slices today.

Remember: dairy is scary, don’t eat like an asshole.



Compassion Is Important Shit

Yesterday I posted a bit of a rant that started off seemingly targeted at a particular individual.  It was initially inspired by a …discussion… that was had on my personal social media, in which this person was the antagonist, but what I wrote was really an aggregate of words from many conversations over the years. This person, whom I had banished from my personal social media after our initial discussion, found this blog and proceeded to make a number of accusations that I twisted their words, was a terrible person, that my business sucks, and that I think I’m “kung of food things,” and should basically just get over myself because they think so.  Well fuck that.  This person had exhibited a very egocentric line of thinking, assuming that after many days that I was directly quoting them and HOLY SHIT WAS I A RAT BASTARD FOR WRITING WORDS IN A FUCKING BLOG THAT I OWN.  I forgot to put quotes around “writing,” as I am not a writer, I’m just some schmuck who happens to give a shit about food and sharing things about food.

After firing off a reply to said person and sitting smugly in my human nest feeling that strong grip of self-satisfaction take hold I realized that I was wrong.  I don’t believe that the words in my retort were wrong, but my intention was not to comfort and educate/inform, it was to “tell that motherfucker what was up.” That is not a compassionate thing to do.  I didn’t take into consideration that this person may also be in less than perfect emotional and mental shape, none of us are.  I didn’t read the statement, I read words and reacted to them without gleaning the real underlying meaning of the whole of the reaction.

Once again…

Compassionate living is the goal of most of you reading this, and certainly mine. I think there are more than a few of us out there who sow what we think is a compassionate living while sometimes letting anger control our words and actions.  It’s easy to lose control when arguing down anti-vegan talking points, I see it almost every day on forums, in comment threads, etc, and honestly that’s not winning any battles, but we all choose the way we handle those that fight against what we believe in.  In this particular case we weren’t arguing over being Vegan anymore, if we ever really were (the original conversation took a path of its own, and not in a good way, through the input of a number of folks), but I had taken things outside of what was acceptable to this other person when I could have easily written what is NOW the revised introduction to yesterday’s post.  I did not think about this other person’s feelings, I used them as an example in what is a fairly unknown and anonymous blog, and with my compassion button firmly in the “off” position I had managed to totally fuck up what could have been a salvageable situation.  It was regrettable, but it happened and I move on with a slightly better understanding of what should be done when ranting about general subjects.

With all that being said, and although this other individual will most likely not see this post, I offer an apology.  Satire/Vulgarity/Whatever is what it is, but crossing the line into personal attack against an underserving individual is not a show of compassion.  I will do my best to not drag another private individual into any negative narrative in the future. No guarantee it won’t happen again, as I’m basically a fucking idiot, but I’ll do my best to write, inform, and possibly entertain those that read these digital pages without considering others with compassion and fair treatment.  Humans are animals, too. You can’t treat one with compassion and leave out the other. It’s a goddamn fact.

Don’t Eat (Or Type) Like An Asshole,